Teen’s (?)- Pre-Adult’s (?) problem?

Hi! I’m back with another discussion of my real life problem! I want to share a problem that has been bothering me for these past years. for your information, I’m 19 so I don’t know either to call myself a teenager or a pre adult (?). As you can guess, the problem relates to this. So! People around me are calling me childish and too innocent for a girl around my age, so do my parents. Though I’m fine with that, but I am not fine with what my mom asked me.

what my mom asked me is to change my fashion sense/ style to be maturer. This is what I can’t do (maybe for now). To be clearer, I usually wear a t-shirt and a short when going out to a mall. I think I’m what people called as a tomboy, though! I also love cute clothing, this allows me to shift between tomboy clothing style and the cute one. however, my mom or people around me don’t really like it. They thought it’s time for me to appear maturer since I just graduated from my Bachelor Degree. I should be more feminine, wear dress or skirt most of the time and look more expensive (with those branded things they bought me). But that’s not me, that’s what I always think to defend myself.

however, just now they tried to make it clearer for me, why do they want me to change my appearance. that’s because they want me to look more elite, to be accepted with the professionals community, and so on, which are good for me. They said why can’t I look around me when I went to mall, people around my age are dressing herself with makeup, heels, dress, and so on, why can’t I? I like to be like them though, they look so beautiful but I don’t know why I don’t really fond of picturing myself in those styles. I’m afraid to look older that my age, I always love it when people tell me that I look young.

I think it’s time to change my appearance. because I know my mom and people around me want me to be better that what I am right now. I don’t know how can I start since I don’t even know how to put on make up, I don’t have heels (except 1 that is for my presentation test in Univ) or mature looking dresses. Let’s see if I can change myself even though it’s not completely because I want it to be but for my mom or others around me I’m willing to change myself. I hope I can do it though I WILL face many problems when trying to get there.

Yeah.. that’s what I wanna share with Internet people. have you ever felt this way? what do you think I should do? Is this always happen to people around my age? Gimme your thoughts!

*pict of me (not real tattoo~ parents will get super mad if I have one XP )

*Btw this post is made 3 years ago on my other blog LOL and since that blog only has 2 posts, I decided to just focus on this one and move the 2 posts here!

Australian? Racist? NOPE

Oh hi! This will be my first post in this newly born blog! I would love to clarify about how people said that Australians are racists. I just got back from my trip there and I found that Australia is one of the most tourist friendly countries that I ever visited! Before starting, I think it’s better for me to clarify my race. I’m an asian, an Indonesian to be exact, which makes me look different from the Australians. So I think it’s acceptable for me to say that Australian is not racist since I can be distinguished from them easily. So here’s my experience there.

• They answer every of your question!

As I never went to Australia before, I didn’t know the street names, the way, and everything else that you need to know when you want to go to an attraction or back to your hotel. And I am so bad in reading a map, so Google Map didn’t really help me. The only thing that I could do is to ask literally every 15 minutes in my way to the destination. Know what? Every time I asked, they answered! EVERY TIME! (Except if they don’t know the way, even if they don’t know, they’ll tell you where and how to get the information or even they’ll use their own google map application to tell you the way!) I’m so grateful that they help me! (If you’re an Australian reading this post, I thank you so much!) Even in one night, when me and my family wanted to go back to our hotel and it’s raining so badly (It’s fall or almost winter over there, so when it’s raining, at night, it’s so windy and cold) and we didn’t know how to get back to the hotel, again.. we asked someone who waited for the traffic light to turn green because he’s the only one around. He didn’t bring any umbrella like us, but still he explain to us clearly how to get back to our hotel, even if the traffic light went red again (I’m so sorry to trouble you! sorry! and thank you!). So yeah.. they are so tourist friendly!

• They help you even if you don’t ask for help!

So this was a story when me and my family wanted to travel to the other side of Sydney that requires us to take a train. We has used a train before of course, but since it’s the first time we use a train there, it took us a quite long time to know which line should we use. when we examined the lines on the screen, the Australian behind us offered to help. I was shocked that it takes me like 5 seconds to be able to speak to her. I told her where we want to go and he bought us our tickets! (again, Thank you!) this is my first time overseas, that someone offered to help even if you didn’t ask for it!

• Great Teacher

Okay.. this maybe a bit shameless of me, but my mom asked me to do it. So I just graduated from my Bachelor study and I (really) want to work in Australia (since my Bachelor Degree is from Australian university, I went there for my graduation trip actually.) Knowing this, My mom force me to ask the receptionist of our Hotel to scan my Bachelor degree certificate, she said “maybe they had a job vacancy and ask you to work for them after they saw your certificate (which is of course will not happen) and make sure you ask them if they have one!” with this, I encourage myself to do what my mom told me, except the one that requires me to ask if they have a job vacancy since I’m quite a shy person especially when I don’t know the person. So the only thing I asked is for him to scan my certificate and send it to my email (which he did it instantly!!) and even with all of my courage, I can only ask him about “what is the best University to pursue a master degree in business here?” (STUPID ME!) to my surprise, he answered me!! he explains about the top 8 universities there, his university, his experience, his job, he even taught me that “no matter how good your university is, what really matters is your personal branding, because employer doesn’t care about your University or marks, they want to know if you have a personality, skills that they want or not.” THIS IS! this is the first time someone who I don’t even know teach me something this precious!

so yeah, these are my experiences of the kindness of Australian! Do you have your experience too? tell me!

*Btw this post is made 3 years ago on my other blog LOL and since that blog only has 2 posts, I decided to just focus on this one and move the 2 posts here! XD

Manic Pancic Amplified Atomic Turquoise Review + Tips [Bahasa]

Hola! udah lama banget sejak terakhir update blog ini! Gimana kabarnya? yup Aku baik” aja LOL. Jadi aku finally rela dan beranni untuk nge bleach rambut ku pertama kalinya!! woo *tepuk tangan* jadinya bagus dan aku suka sih tapi!! seperti yang kalian tau, rambutku rusakk (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) Noo!! rambutku jadi lebih kering & lebih kusut gitu pas basah jadia ku harus kasih vitamis terus, tapi selain itu, ga ada yang jelek lagi sih.

jadi aku bakal kasih tau mengenai bleach & ombre ku dulu~

jadi rambutku di bleach ombre gitu (?) di salon korea namanya “Ando and Yun” di mall Baywalk, Pluit. kena sekitar 1,9jt kalau nggak salah soalnya mereka lagi ada promo gitu kalau kita post di instagram. prosesnya sih capein banget karena makan waktu 5 jem walaupun cuma duduk doang LOL. kalau nggak salah bagian bawah rambutku di bleach 2x sedangkan yang tengah itu 1x aja jadi pelan” makin terang gitu ke bawah

itu hasilnya~ aku lumayan suka sih karena itu pelan” jadi lebih terang dan aku ga gitu suka sama ombre yang kayak dari item tiba” jadi berwarna gitu, aku ga bisa jelasinnya jadi aku kasih gambarnya aja.

aku ga bilang kayak gitu tuh jelek, aku cuma ga suka aja. tapi mereka keliatan bagus~! (Korean girlgroup yang aku jadiin contoh ini namanya Red Velvet~) soo yup itu cerita bleaching pertama ku~

Moving on!

setelah 3-4 bulan punya rambut yang warnanya kuning bleach gitu, aku memutuskan untuk sekalian aja warnain secara aku uda ngebleach juga~ ya kan? LOL Jadi aku mulai mencari merk cat rambut yang bagus gitu dan aku baru tau kalau ternyata merk yang bagus kayak revlon atau loreal gitu nggak ada warna yang ngejreng kayak pink hijau ungu biru gitu”. jadi aku mulai cari online buat brand yang punya warna ngejreng, terus aku nemuin merk Miranda, dia punya banyak banget warna ngejreng! dan murahhh banget 1 box cuma 9rb! aku sempet beli 2 box 1 biru dan 1 hijau~ tapi setelah aku tanya tante ku (dia yang bakal bantu aku untuk ngecat rambutku karena dia punya salon) mengenai merk ini dia bilang ga gitu bagus. setelah ngedenger itu aku jadi galau antara tetep pake ini secara aku uda beli juga, atau cari merk lain yang lebih bagus.

setelah berpikir beberapa hari aku memutuskan untuk mencari merk lain yang lebih bagus karena aku takut rambutku akan semakin rusak (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) dan aku menemukan merk MANIC PANIC! merk ini punya BANYAK BANGET WARNA!! terus dari review online sih nggak ngerusak rambut terus aman gitu karena ini produk vegan~ YES! emang sih jauh lebih mahal dari merk yang tadi tapi menurutku sih mending pake merk yang bagusan walaupun mahal, ya ada harga ada barang lah istilahnya~ mengenai harganya aku beli 250rb per botol~

untuk informasi kamu Manic panic itu ada 3 macem produk cat rambut selain bleach & pastelizer (yang bikin warna nya jadi lebih kepastel an) (http://www.manicpanic.com/manicpaniccatalog.pdf)

• classic: tahan 4-6 minggu, punya 44 warna

• amplified: tahan 30% lebih lama dari yang classic, ada 24 warna~

• dye hard: styling gel dengan warna, sekali cuci rambut uda hilang~

jadi dari informasi di atas, aku beli yang amplified karena tahan lebih lama~ 😀

tips untuk warnanya tahan lebih lama adalah:

• walaupun dicara pemakaiannya disuruh diemin selama 30 menit doang, lebih bagus kalau kamu diemin di rambutmu lebih lama! 5 jam atau lebih
• sebelum kamu cuci rambut, di spray sama campuran cuka putih 50% + air 50% terus diemin 2-3 menit baru kamu cuci
• bungkus rambutnya di plastik terus kamu hairdryer~
• bilas rambutmu dengan air dingin aja tanpa sabun atau kondisioner.
• jangan campur manic panic mu dengan bahan lain (tercuali pastelizer manic panic) kayak kondisioner karena di manic panicnya sendiri uda ada konsitionernya.
• kalau kamu bisa, jangan cuci rambutmu 1 minggu setelah kamu cat (INI SUSAH BANGET LOL apalagi buat kita yang tinggal di indonesia yang panas. jadi aku coba untuk keramas kulit kepala aja lol)

itu aja yang aku dapat dari research ku lol

dan cara pakenya:

• keluarin manic panic nya ke mangkok
• pake sisir untuk ngeratain di rambut.
• oh ya! di olesin ke rambut dengan keadaan bersih & kering ya rambutnya!
• setelah semua rambutmu uda di lapisi dengan manic panic, di bungkus dengan kantong pelastik terus biarin aja ~
• setelah diemin min 30 menit, bilas rambutnya tanpa mengenai wajah dan dengan air dingin~

Selesaaaii~~

ini aku kasih foto di rambutku (dengan & tanpa flash)

itu setelah aku diemin 4 jem an

ketika dibilas, air nya jadi biru~

tepat setelah di bilas~

setengah kering~

kering semua~

itu yang aku pake skitar cuma 1/3 dari botol nya aja~

ini semua update mengenai rambutku!

mungkin nanti aku akan update mengenai warna rambutnya~

see yaa~~

Hair! Manic Panic Amplified! Review? Atomic Turquoise~! ombre! bleach!!

Hola! it’s been super long since I last updated this blog! How are you? yes I am fine. lol. so I’ve finally brave enough to bleach my hair *claps I kinda love how it turns out but!! as you guys have known, it damaged my hair! TAT NOOOOO!! my hair becomes dry and got more knots when it’s wet so I need to give it vitamins from time to time. except from that, I dont feel any worse effect though ._.

okay so I’ll tell you about my bleach and ombre first~

I did my bleaching ombre (?) in a korean salon called “Ando and  Yun” in Baywalk mall, pluit. it costs me around IDR1.9million ($1.800) if i’m not wrong because they had a discount if you post something on instagram. the progress itself is super tiring even though i literally just sat there but i’m not good at sitting still lol. if i’m right, they bleached the bottom of my hair twice, while the middle is only once so it’ll gradually becomes brighter towards the end.

that’s how it looks like~ I kinda like it because it’s fading gradually and I dont really like the ombre that it’s like you chop your hair and put color on it, I dont know how to describe it so just let me put a picture here

i’m not saying it’s ugly, I just dont really like it. but they do look beautiful~! (the girlgrooup above is Red Velvet, a korean idol group if you’re wondering who these pretty girls are XD). so yeah that’s the story of the first bleach of my life!! *phew*

Moving on!

after around 3-4 months having that yellow bleaching color on my hair, i decided to just spice things up a little bit, I’ve bleach my hair after all so why not just play with colors?! righhhhtt??~! So I’m looking for good hair dye and realized that good brand like revlon and  loreal dont have the playful colors like blue, green, pink, purple, etc. so i search online for brands that have those colors and I discovered miranda, it has so many color range and super affordable I bought 2 boxes 1 in blue and 1 in green, 1 box is only IDR9000 ($0.8). but!! after I asked my aunt (who’ll be the one who dyes my hair, she has a salon) about the brand she said that brand is not that good. after hearing that I’m confused whether to just use it, i’ve bought them after all or just look for other brand that is better.

after thinking for some days I decided to just look for other brand that is better because i’m afraid it’ll damage my hair TAT and i discover this thing called MANIC PANIC! it beautifully (lol) has sooooo many range of colors!!!! and from the review online it doesnt damage your hair because it’s a vegan product! oh yes!! though it is more expensive but i prefer to just use a safer product, it costs me IDR250.000 (USD 24) per bottle.

for your information manic panic has 3 types of hair dyeing products (let me just copy from their web) they dont let me copy from the web TAT so let me just type it down here TAT (http://www.manicpanic.com/manicpaniccatalog.pdf)

• classic: it lasts 4-6 weeks, available in 44 shades and put in 4 oz. jar
• amplified: last 30% longer than classic, available in 24 colors and put in 4 oz. squeeze bottle
• dye hard: styling gel with color, gone after your wash your hair. available in 50mL/1.66 fl oz tube

so from the information above I bought the amplified one because i want it to stays longer! XD

the tips of using manic panic that I got for the color to stay longer are:

• even if they say just let it on your hair for 30 mins, it’s better to let it on your hair for longer time! 5 hours or so, that way it’ll last longer in your hair!
• just before you wash your hair spray it with 50% white vinegar +50% water solution and let it set for 2-3 mins
• wrap your hair in a plastic bag and hair dry it
• wash your hair with just cold water without any shampoo or conditioner
• dont mix the manic panic with other solution like conditioner (because it has conditioner in it already)
• if you can, dont wash your hair for a week (THIS IS HARD LOL especially if you’re like me who lives in a hot country, since I only colored half of my hair, i decided to just wash my scalp today lol)

that’s all i got from my research lol

and how to use it is just:

• squeeze the solution into a bowl
• just use comb to put the solution on your hair
• put it on your dry and clean hair (make sure your hair is clean and dry~)
• after your hair is covered with it, wrap it with plastic bag and continue your daily routine~
• after hours, wash your hair (away from your face) with only cold water~

that’s all~

here I’ll put some pictures of my hair (with & without flash)

without flash

with flash

that’s after I let the solution on my hair for around 4 hours

when I washed it, the water becomes blueish~

without flash

with flash

just after I washed it

half dry~

natural sunlight

indoor

completely dry~

the amount that I use is around 1/3 of the bottle~

that’s all the update of my hair!

maybe later I’ll update more on my hair color, how it fades and everything~

see ya later!

Hi guys! it’s been a while!!

just like what the title says, it’s been a while since I updated my Blog~

so, just to tell you guys that I’ve got my Diploma degree!! Yeii~~ claps for me guys, thank you! thank you!

*ehem*

so I went to Malaysia and Singapore on the new year for a week!! with Tama, Mochi and Stacia. pretty fun but a bit boring especially when the rains come!! Geez–

I think the most exciting part from this vacation is when we went to Universal Studio Singapore!! the roller coasters are incredible!! must play them if you go there, kay?! it is a MUST!! ALL the roller coasters!!! ALL OF THEM!! and, there was 1 thing that I can’t forget when we were there.. 

So there is one indoor roller coaster with Mummies theme, to get to play the roller coaster, you need to go through a maze (?) it’s not a maze actually.. hmm.. don’t know what is the correct word for that. the point is, you must walk through a room with many Mummies accessories, statues, etc. sooo scary (at least for me) especially the atmosphere is so scary too!! the light is dim! it’s cold there! and the background song! OMG!!! and we are not allowed to bring our bags there so we need to put our bags, cameras, etc in the lockets. 

we’ve been there once and we want to ride it again, learning from the first experience, that this place was very crowded and the line was sooo long, we decided to let me (the one who didn’t bring bag) go inside first and they will come after they put their bags and things in the locket.. and.. this is where the terrible thing happened. I agree with the decision and went there ALONE! forgetting how the room looks like and how afraid I am of these kind of things..

man!! it’s not like the first one where there were so many people lining to play the roller coaster, this time, it’s completely quiet.. after walking for half a minute, I decided to stop and wait till other people come in and I will continue walking. after waiting for another half minute, there were a group of teenagers coming in!! yeeii.. so I continue my journey (LOL?) I kept looking back every 5 steps.. Thanks GOD they didn’t disappear !!! so we were together (not exactly together) until the end (?).

It was our turn to get into the roller coaster now, but my friends were not here yet! I kept telling myself not to be negative, they’ll definitely coming! because I don’t want to ride that roller coaster alone and that means I must go back to that scary room ALONE! NOO WAYYY I CAN DO THAT!! NO WAY!! So I kept waiting for them and finally they came!! You have no Idea how much I miss you guys!! now, get into that fucking roller coaster NOW!!! #plak 

ah! we got to see our Sesame Street buddies there!!

 we went to “Funan” in Singapore, if you’re an otaku you must go to this mall!! definitely!! so many action figures, nendo, games, posters, maid cafe here!~

and now, My class has started and believe me or not.. THEY ARE GIVING OUT THE ASSIGNMENTS OF EVERY SUBJECT ON THE FIRST MEETING OF THE SEMESTER!

OMG!! JUST HOW CRUEL THE LECTURERS ARE!!! 

and… on saturday 2nd and 3rd of March 2013, there will be Pre Clash event and the cosplayers from Indonesia are trying to make an went where (lets hope so) 1000 cosplayers are coming!! cool, huh? That’s why I want to do some cosplay too.. I ask my lil bro to cosplay together with me and he agreed ~ so we will complying as soul eater character. me as Dr Stein and he as Death the kid.. or so I thought. 

my Cloth is still not here!! and the event is only 2 more days!! I definitely won’t be able to cosplay as Dr Stein.. and.. me and my lil bro keep talking about who will do Death the kid cosplay? since our cloth’s size is not that different which means I can cosplay as death the kid too..

lets see.. but most probably is I will be the one who cosplay death the kid~

yah~ lets see how’s it going to be~!

and kana me will come!! OMG OMG OMG Im so excited!!!!!!

ok then~ Jaa ne!! >3<

The Madness of Duke Venomania by #TwitterNovela

 

Casts:

Gakupo as the Duke = @Yuichi_Nakamaru

Gumi & Demon = @indiradesu

Kaito = @nexafrizz

 

the real PV: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsIOkbxTA9M

 

*a few years ago*

girl A: “Hey, girly boy! Why don’t you do something about your face?”

*the other kids laugh*

Girl B: “Yeah, do something about it!”

Girl C: “No girls would want to be w/ you!”

Girl A: “Yeah!”

Girl D: “Ya every girl wants a handsome boy!”

Girl E:  “Yeah! No girls would want a princess-like boy!”

Girl B: “You should just sit around your pretty little bed & play with dolls & play dressed up. I bet you’ll look extremely cute & you’ll be a perfect    girl!”

*Gumi smirked in front of him while other kids still laugh mockingly at him*

Gakupo:  … *walks with his head down* *talking to himself* I’m not girly! And I’ll show it to u guys! I will get every women I want!! including u, Gumi!! that cute face of yours will beg for me  to be yours!! *glance at Gumi*

*Gumi’s still laughing with the other kids while Gakupo steal a glance at her

Gakupo: walks to his home* *still talking to himself* just see and wait, you girls!!! *arrives* *looks for a magic book* that book should be here!! *looking for that book*

-45 mins later-

Gakupo: ah! yes!!! this is the book!! *reads* ah! this spell!! yes!!! this will change me!!! *do as what the book said* and now.. a demon should       appears in front of me.

Demon: *appears a demon with all-black* Was it you who summoned me? My name is Lexis. What is it that you want?

Gakupo: whoaaa!!! *steps backward* whoaa.. le..lexus?? ehmm ca..can you make all the women I like to .. to like me back?

Demon: hmm… I can grant your wish, but it will cost you quite a fortune, pretty guy.

Gakupo: stop calling me pretty!!! *suddenly get angry* everyone are the same!! even a demon like you!!! idc about the cost!

Demon: *smirks* Very well. So you accept my preposition. Tell me, what do you have in you that can be use to pay me?

Gakupo: i will give you everything you want!! tell me!! i will give everyhing i have!!

Demon: *smirking evilly* You interest me. Alright, I’ll grant your wish. Here. *he gave his hand & there’s a bottle of briight red liquid on it* Drink this & your wish will come true. Remember that you can’t have your blood dripping out from your body or the magic will be gone.Your soul is mine now. I will wait for the time that you will die because of your greediness. *he smirked & then he disappeared*

Gakupo: *looks at the bottle* so this is how to get those girls on my hand?? so easy!! *drinks the potion in just 1 gulp* … i dont feel any change in my body.. let me test it on the girls out there *walks to the girls out door*  *looks at them intensely* *they come running toward him and hug him* wow.. this potion is really works!! *thinking of Gumi.. *search for Gumi* now.. my ultimate wish will come true.. you’ll be mine, Gumi!

Gumi: *Gumi’s in front of her store talking with customer*

Gakupo:  *finds Gumi* *walks toward her* *smiles at her seductively* wont you follow me, Gumi?

Gumi: *looks up *startled *blushes a bit *looks to side* “W-why would I want to follow you? Y-you’re not my type”

Gakupo: *feels that his spell works toward her too, but she is a tsundere type of girl* ara.. I’ve known u since we are kids but I never know that u are a tsundere,Gumi.. U want this right? *open his first 2 buttons* follow me..

Gumi: “W-what are you talking about? Of course you’re not my type!” *still not looking at him* (Weird.. I’ve never felt like this towards him… What’s wrong with me?)

Gakupo: *move his body nearer towards u* hmm?? Are you sure? *tilt your head* *winks*

Gumi: *take a glance then quickly look to side again* What’re you talking about? A-are you mad? *blushes more

Gakupo: hmm?? you’re still cute even when you’re like this, Gumi.. *whispers with seductive voice* follow me and you’ll be happy with me             forever.. dont you want it? hmm *stares at your eyes* *smiling seductively*

Gumi: *eyes turns darker, he got her under the spell* *smiles* Of course my lord. Who wouldn’t want to be with you?

Gakupo: *smirks* finally you’ve turned into a good girl, huh Gumi chan?? *embrace & brings you to his room* *those girls from before arefollowing them to his room too* *arrives* *sit on his bed, looking at the ladies he brought home* with this, you will never laugh at me again.. you all are mine!, right? *pulls Gumi into his embrace*

Gumi: who would ever want to laugh at you, my lord? No women dare to resist you. *smiles blankly(?) at him*

Gakupo: a very honest one, dont you? *tilt your head* *pushes you down to the bed* *whispers* are you ready for this, Gu-Mi- Cha-n?? ♥  *with seductive, low voice of his*

Gumi: *chuckles* I will do whatever it is to pleased you, my lord. *touches his cheeks, smiles at him*

Gakupo:  *touches her hand on his cheek* *looks at other ladies* ladies, allow me to play with this cute lady over here, ok?

Ladiess: “noo!! unfair! we want to play with gakupo sama too!!”

Gakupo: *chuckles* we’ve so much time to play ladies, be patient~ ok? now, can you pretty ladies, leave this room for me? *smile*

*the girls go out from the room*

Gakupo: *looks at Gumi* now, we’re finally alone, Gumi chan. Do you want to be mine? *whispers* entirely?

Gumi: *chuckles* My lord, you don’t need to ask me to be yours, because I am already yours from the start *smiles*

Gakupo: *blush* *with soft voice* I..I never know to get you, will be this easy, why didnt I think of this way before? baka! Finally Gumi is mine.. *clears his throat* then Gumi chan, lets starts, okay? *smirks*

—————————–

*after ‘that’*

Gumi: *wakes up in bed* … *looks around* …Gakupo-sama? …He’s not in here… *puts on her clothes*

Gakupo: *outside playing with the ladies, kissing and embracing them* *realizes that Gumi has woke up* *walks to the room, with the ladies following him* ara, Gumi chan.. you’ve woke up, huh? *walks to you and stokes gumi’s hair*

Gumi: Yes my lord, I have. *smiles*

Gakupo: u must be tired, eh? u know, she *point at a lady* is a gooodd chef, she made breakfast for all of us, lets eat ne~

Gumi: alright my lord. *smiles *follows him to the dining room

Gakupo:  *walks to the dining room while playing with the ladies*

-1 month has passed-

Gakupo: *looking at the picture of him that’s displayed in the hall- tsk, what a disgusting face I have, huh? *brings down the picture and also all other pictures of him and throws them into a fireplace (?)* good bye my old self, *caressing Gumi’s hair, while looking at the burning pictures of him* this is my new life.. *kissing Gumi frustratedly*

Gumi: *gakupo releases her* What is the matter, my lord? Is there something bothering you? You look agitated

Gakupo: nothing.. help me forget my past, will you? *stares at your eyes helplessly*

Gumi:  I don’t know what happened with you in your past but I will help you, my lord *smiles*

Gakupo: that’s what I expect from you, Gumi.. *kisses her again & picks her up, bring her to the bed*

—————————

*after ‘that’, still in bed*

Gumi: Gakupo-sama, do you love me?

Gakupo: *looks at you* love? why do you ask that, gumi?

Gumi: I just wanted to know what is your answer. Is that wrong?

Gakupo: ehmm.. no.. I.. I.. ah forget it.. lets get up and get some food, okay? *kiss your cheek* *wear his cloth and walks*

–15 mins later–

Gumi:  … Gakupo-sama? … I guess he is not here… *Gumi searched the house for him* I wonder where is he…

Gakupo:  *going to the town with the ladies, forgets to tells Gumi about it since he is in a desperate state right now*

Gumi: *searches the whole house once again* … I guess he really is not here… *glanced at the exit door* …  I wonder if I should looked outside… But Gakupo-sama doesn’t allow me to go out… *silence for a while* … I guess it wouldn’t hurt me to look outside…

Kaito: “Finally, I have come back to my village.” *smiles* (Hm? That lady looks like she’s lost. I should help her.) *approaches Gumi* “Hello, are you lost, miss?” *looks at her* (Now that I looked at her, she’s quite.. cute. Come to think of it, I never saw her before, though..)

Gumi: *just stares at him blankly* … *tilts her head then looks around to look for Gakupo*

Kaito: “…miss?” (She didn’t heard me?) *looks after her back*

Gakupo: *after flirting with all ladies on the town, he is thinking to head back to the village* do you want to go back to our love nest, beauty ladies?? *tilts 1 of the lady’s head*

Miku: “Yes bring us back to your home, Gakupo sama!!”

Gakupo: pfft~ ikimashou ka? *going back to the village*

Gumi: *keep going, ignoring Kaito* … Gakupo…sama… Where are you…

Kaito: “a–are you alright?” *increase his voice volume* (Gakupo…? Who’s that? I never heard his name.) *grows a bit suspicious

Gakupo: *on the way back to the village* eh? I think I forgot something! ah! I forgot to tell Gumi that I was going to the town!! oh shiit!!! I hope she wont do something unpredictable.. err I cant be sure though, she is a liltle bit carefree.

Gumi: Gakupo-sama… Doko? *still wanders around while Kaito keep chasing her*

Gakupo: *walks home with the ladies* …. *stops* *looks back* Gu…Gumi?! *Runs* Gumi! why are you here? I have told you, you cant go out from that house, right? *holds her hand and drags her back to the house*

Gumi: *stares at Gakupo w/ blank eyes* … But… I was looking for you… You suddenly disappeared when I went out…

Gakupo: ah.. gomen, I forgot to tell you.. from now on, I will never forget again, I promise!

Gumi: *stares at him blaankly again* … You promised? …Why don’t you tell me earlier….

Kaito: (She.. didn’t responded? What’s wrong with her?) *suddenly remembers about her hollow eyes* (Her eyes.. didn’t reflect the light. Something is wrong with this village,I should gather more information about this..) *grips his fist *looks determined

Gumi: *turns head to Kaito & nods once before leaving with Gakupo*

Gakupo: *looks at Gumi* what are you looking at, Gumi?

Gumi: *shakes head* It’s nothing. Are we…going back?

Gakupo:  un! lets go back to our love nest, Gumi~ *embraces her* *walks to his home with ladies following him* *arrives* ne Gumi, who is that man? the one who talked to you? *a bit jealous*

Gumi: … Who? *looks at him* … The blue haired one? I don’t know…

Gakupo: eh? you dont know him? *strokes her hair* talking to a stranger is dangerous, Gumi.. please promise me u wont do that

Gumi: *looks up, stares* … Un *nods*

Gakupo: good girl~ *smiles* ah! let me introduce u with your new friends, Gumi..*pulls 1 lady that he just brought from town  she is Miku, *points at the other lady* her name is Meiko, *tilts other girl’s head* she is Luka, *hugs 1 girl*  Joshepin, *points at 1 girl* Mikina, and the last one is Ann *kisses her* be good to them, ok?

Gumi: *stares at those women* … Of course my lord… *bows emotionlessly* Pleased to meet you

Gakupo: good girl~ *pats her head* uhmm ladies.. I will play with the new ladies here for the nest 5 days, so be patient and wait for your turn, okay? *embraces all the new ladies*

Gumi: … I should leave you then. *bows emotionlessly & headed out from the room*

–Somewhere else–

Kaito: (A month has passed.. I never saw her again. Normally people would walk about in village during daytime but this village is as empty as ruins.. Even the people at the inn seems overly suspicious to travellers..And.. I never saw a female villagers, except that emerald haired lady..) *thinks while walking to the bar*

Bartender: “Welcome..”

Kaito: “You need to lift up your spirits more, Bartender. You look even more grim than the old-selfclaimed-fortune-teller I have met before.”

Bartende: *shrugs “How can.. How can I be happy when my daughter has gone missing?!” *slams his hand to desk*

Kaito: “Your.. daughter?” *shocked*

Bartender: “And not just my daughter! Every female in this village has gone astray!”

Kaito: “Even that emerald haired girl?!”

Bartender: “Did.. did you mean lady Gumina Glassred? She’s the heiress of Glassred family, she likes to sneak out and work in town so her parents didn’t think anything suspicious about it, but now, it has been two months ago since she and my daughter has gone missing.. Even her parents has been worried sick…

Kaito: ” (Two months… So she has gone missing before I met her. This can’t be normal.. Wait. What about that purple haired man that I saw with her?) “Your daughter.. Did she met with a purple haired man before?”

Bartender: *the bartender goes silent* “..Duke Venomania? That’s it! The last time I saw my daughter was when the Duke called for her to his mansion at the top of the hill!”

Kaito: “Veno…mania.” *slams his fist on the counter *glares (I have to save everyone! How dare he kidnaps every girl ..especially her. Gumina…) “Then―Is there anything I can do to help?!”

Bartender: “You can’t. It’s impossible. The duke only wants to go near a woman!”

Kaito: *Kaito sighs *hides his face while he looks down at the counter “…I have thought of a good idea. Don’t worry.” *smirks (This should do the trick…) *disguises himself as a blonde haired woman *walks to Venomania’s mansion

Gumi: *the bell rings* … *opens the door* … Oh… Welcome. Who might you be & what is your purpose of coming?

Gakupo: ara, what a beautiful lady we have here~ *comes towards Kaito who disguised as a woman* come here~ *Smiles*

Gumi: *looks at Gakupo *moves away so he can get near that ‘woman’*

Gakupo: come into my embrace, lady~ *open his arms to hug her* *song played by the radio changed * this is a good song, isnt it? one of my fav~ shall we dance?

Kaito disguised himself as a woman: “Are you.. duke Venomania?” *looks at him with ‘hollow eyes’ *walks towards him with each word “Please! Take me with you! If.. If it’s with you, then I’m willing to do a-ny-thing.” *whispers the last word at his ears with a heavy breath *embraces him

Gakupo: who can predict such an elegant lady like u can be this naughty? hmm? but I like it~*plays with her hairs & hugs her*

Kaito: “That’s all you asked for, my duke? Such a shame, I would love to give.. More.” *whispers as we danced*

Gakupo: dont worry my lady, this is just the beginning *kisses her hairs* if you cant wait, we can always go to my room anytime you want~ *pulls her waist closer* *smiling seductively*

Kaito: “..You’re no fun.” *smiles mischievously with ’empty looking eyes’  “Then.. Do you love me?”

Gakupo: let me show you my FUN side & how I love someone on the bed,should we go to my room now?*whispers, while playing with her hairs*

Kaito:  *the room grew silent except for dance footsteps* “Do you think.. Love is a toy? Even for.. Gumina’s feeling?” *embraces you “It’s over.” *smiles *stabs

Gakupo: ugh!! *touches his heart* *steps back* wha..what is .. ugh!! *falls* shi…shitt!! you deceive me! ughh!! *looks at his chest*ughh you!! you use.. ughh poison?!ahh!! my blo..blood!! *purple liquid comes out from his wound* shi..shiit

Kaito: “Give it up, it’s a special poison that my friend has made. *sigh* Seriously, even undercover spying is more easier than staying in a room for more than one minute with you.” *shrugs *takes his wig off

Gakupo: you?! *tries to stand* ughh!! I should have .. Ha.. Have known that.. Ughh you’re a.. Male!! *falls* aghh!! *tries  to stop his bleeding* *purple liquid keep flowing from the wound*

*after the blood drips from Gakupo’s body, all girls are snapped back to reality, including Gumi*

Gumi: … What have I– What did I– *looks to side & see Gakupo’s bleeding* … I see. So it was you who did all this, eh Gakupo?

Kaito: “What? Am I more ‘beautiful’ than your ‘beauty’ that you boast about? Well, thanks for the compliment, but compliment won’t do much when you’re at the death’s door. Bye. Girly boy.” *smiles *exit from the mansion*

Gakupo: you! *glares* ughh!!! Do.. Don’t you dare to.. To call me girly!! Aghh!!! I’ll show u .. Aghh!! Come back here!!! Ugh

Gumi: … *looking down at him* How pathetic. You were putting a spell on me & acted like a boss so that you could have the girls you want. Despicable. You’re so low. Much lower than a livestock. *smirks* Go rot in hell *Gumi stepped to the exit with other girls* … Ah. *looked back to Gakupo* You know I was only joking when I mocked you with those girls. I always thought you were nice. But you turned out to be a sick man. & I’ve always sorta knew I’ve somekind of feelings towards you, but I’m disappointed that I have to feel this way. Hmph. Die hard. *smirks then leaves*

Gakupo: *shocked* aaghhh!!! *the wound worsen* noo!! Noo!! *coughs blood* please!! *bleed keeps flowing* let.. Me at least…aghh!!! *graps for air* te.. Tell you how ughhh I really felt!! *coughs* noo!!! Gu.. Aghh!!! Gumi.. I.. Love ..yo-u..

Kaito: “Do you know of the fate of those that made a contract with devil?” *whispers to the air* *smiles* *go out from the mansion

 

 

 

–The End–

 

 

Aku no Monogatari by #TwitternovelaCrew

for those who dont know about Aku no Monogatari, please watch these videos first

Rin’s version : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jinoDKNjx8Q (Aku no Musume / Daughter of Evil)

Len’s version : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwnyPIbt1BA ( Aku no Meshitsukai / Servant of Evil)

 

casts:

Kagamine Len: @Nexafrizz

Kagamine Rin: @Yuichi_Nakamaru

Miku Hatsune & Sakine Meiko : @indiradesu

 

Len: ojouuu! *smiles *

Rin: get me a drink!

Len: *asking her, what kind of drink she would like to have, as usual*

Rin: for today, lets have darjeeling tea

Len: understood, milady. I shall prepare it like always. What would you like for the snacks, today? *smiles

Rin:  I don’t feel like eating today.. My mind is full of someone from neighbourhood country..

Len:  ..I.. understand. (It’s not her.. I have to keep believing that it’s not her..) *smiles to cover his shock

Rin: .. u know~ that blue haired man from the neighbourhood country.. I like him.. But.. He has a lover already!

Len: *sets down tea set and pours it while listening attentively* and, what did you like about him?

Rin: *blush* eettoo.. His nice & gentle voice.. But! He has a lover already! That woman! I hate her!

Len: *looks below* (even our reason for loving someone is the same..) and.. What would you like to do?

Rin: emm.. U know that 1 girl from green country who has green hair… Kill her!

Len: ..Understood. I will make the necessary arrangements. (I must not be selfish.. This is milady―no, Rin’s wish.)

Rin: and! Destroy the green country also! Kaito is mine! She took Kaito, now she will get the penalty

Len:  *at the green country* “Soldiers! Burn this town to ashes… and capture  the green haired girl!”

(I have to kill my own feelings.. It’s okay, if it’s for her.. If it’s for…)

Miku: *at somewhere in the green country *suddenly got attacked by soldiers* No, what are you– NOOOOO!!!

Soldiers: “We brought her!”

Len: *grips the sword tightly while looking lifeless at her*

Miku: Who…are you and why did you do this to me? What have I done wrong? *looks up to him restlessly*

Len: *mutters …A shadow. I am simply a shadow of the radiant sun. *smiles emptily *draws the sword from the sheath

Miku: *look at the sword terrifiedly* W-what are you going to do with that sword? L-lemme go! Lemme go!

Len: “I don’t have any obligation to answer all of your questions. Now, goodbye.” *stabs cleanly through her heart*

Miku: *at the last breath she grip the sword w/ her bare hands* “I-if you saw Kaito-sama… tell him… I’m sorry.. Sorry that… I had to leave 1st   &…if… If you’re the messenger of the queen…tell her I’m sorry too” *dies*

Len: *sheaths his sword “All of you. Go on ahead to Yellow Kingdom.” *closes her eyelids and carries her gently*

(I’ll bury you with my own hands.. Even if it’s the last thing that I will do.)

*digs up a grave with his bare hands* *looks at her one last time and wipes her fallen tears*

(I don’t even deserve to say sorry to her with this stained hands..) *tears slid down*

*whispers with a coarse voice* why.. Why would you even care about the others even in the brink of your death?!

*pounds the earth with his fist* why.. Tell me… Why?! *shouts to the sky while crying

*stays like that until no tears came out* I.. I have to return to Rin. *wipes his tears* Rin’s happiness is.. my happiness. I have to.. return with a smile. *smiles while looking tired*

I’m back.. Ri–milady. *kneels in front of the throne*

Rin: Len! *stands up from the throne* have you killed her?! destroy her country?! have you?!

Len: Yes… *suddenly remembers the green haired girl words* yes I have, milady. *forces a smile*

Rin: *realizes that there’s something wrong with Len but doesn’t care* yatta! finally! Kaito is mine!! you’ve done a good job, Len!

Len: *bows down* please excuse me, I have to clean myself. I will return at teatime. *says with a monotone and hoarse voice*

Rin: yes, you may go *smile happily* *her mind is full of that blue haired man*

Len:  *3PM* today’s tea is yellow rose petal tea with brioche. Please enjoy it while it’s still warm, milady.

Rin: *looks at the tea & brioche* *smiles at Len* thank you Len! *eats*

Meiko: “THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! ATTACK THE YELLOW COUNTRY!”*orders her forces of thousands of men to invade Rin’s country* “SEARCH     THE ENTIRE AREA, SEARCH FOR THE QUEEN! WE WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS!”

Rin: Le.. Len.. thousands of people are coming here to get me.. what should I do?

Len: here, wear my clothes. I will trade place with you. *smiles while patting Rin’s head to calm her down*

Meiko: “Is she in here?!” *in front of the castle* “Yes! We have confirmation earlier!” “Good!” *broke in w/ forces*

Rin:  *look at the cloth* wont they discover that you’re me? *look at you* *worried*

Meiko: Search every corner of this castle for the queen!”

crowd: “Yes Ma’am!” *the force dismissed*

Len: they won’t notice it because we’re twins. I never cursed my luck that we’re twins, thank you being born with me.

even if thousands, millions, billions, or even the world itself went against you, I will protect you.

Rin: *wears the cloth* *look ate you* is this okay? why are you so kind to me? …

Len: *hugs Rin* I swore to myself that I’ll protect your smile until the end. So, just sit there and laugh for me.

Rin: Len.. *hugs back* sorry for all I’ve done to you..

Meiko:  “Have you found her yet?!”

crowd: “Not yet Ma’am!”

Meiko: “Keep searching till you find her! We will not forgive her!”

Len: I never held anything against you, you have nothing to apologize about. *puts his hand on Rin’s cheek and pull it upwards so that she smiles* ..now go. *push Rin’s back lightly*

Rin: *walks towards the door* *looks back* Len.. wont you come with me?

Crowd: “Milady, we have confirmation regarding where she is!”

Meiko: “Really? GOOD! TAKE ME THERE!” “MA’AM!”

Len: *smiles *push Rin’s back while muttering a silent “Thank you..”

Rin: *runs through the door* *sobbing* Len.. arigatou

Meiko: *open the door by forces after Rin have left* “QUEEN! SURRENDER YOURSELF NOW! YOU ARE SURROUNDED!”

Len *Who’s pretending to be Rin* : (if.. her hand is stained by blood.. Then my hands is dyed with blood.)

don’t touch me with your filthy hand, you insolent woman! *glare with authority and pride

Meiko: “DO YOU NOT HEAR ME?! YOU ARE SURROUNDED!” *screamed to Len who’s pretending to be Rin inside that room*

Len: *raises his voice* Don’t shout to me like you’re one of my equal! Stand back! I can walk by myself. *glares*

Meiko: “You’re so much defiled than me to killed our precious Lady Miku! Soldiers, take her down!”

Crowd: “Yes Ma’am!”

Len: hmph, I already expected that you wouldn’t know how to treat a royalty. Did you not hear my words?

Don’t. Touch my hands. Escort me to the town hall. I won’t run away. *says with a steely voice*

Meiko: *sighs* Very well. I am not pleased to be near you, but I will escort you there. Let’s go, queen.

Len: do not flatter yourself thinking that I like to be near a commoner without a manners like you. *walks behind

*looks at the view on open corridor* (so this is the last time I’ll saw this scenery.) *steels his resolve

—The Next Day—

Meiko: “Folks! Hereby I present you, the damned queen who killed our precious Lady!”

*the crowds roar*

Meiko: “Folks! What do you want to do with this defiled demon?!”

Crowds: “EXECUTE HER!” “YEAH!” *the crowds roar again* “WE WILL GRANT YOUR WISHES!” “YEAH!!!” *the crowds roar again*

Meiko: “Any last sentence, defiled woman?!”

Rin: it’s 3 o’clock already?! *run towards the execution area* *covers her head* *whisper* Len.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry..

Len: *looks at the crowd while the bell rings three times* *smirks* “Ah, it’s snack time.”

*remembers about the old time* ‘Remember, princess. No matter how grim the situation is, you have to look graceful.’

Rin: ‘But I don’t wanna!’

Len: *snickers*

Rin: ‘Len! Don’t laugh!’ *Rin glares*

Len: ‘Suuuure.’ *laughs

Meiko: *disturbs his flashback* “Well Queen? Had anything to say before your final execution?”

Crowds: “JUST KILL HER!” “YEAH!”

Rin: *listen to what the crowd & meiko said* noo!!! Please!! Nooo!!! Leenn!!!

Len: *the crowds grows silent as the bell rings heavily three times* “Ah, it’s snack time.” *smiles happily*

Meiko: “Alright, let’s begin the execution!”*she swings her hand down & the guillotine knife swings down*

Rin: nooo!!!! Leennn!!! Noooo!!! *shouting, but her voice is covered by the crowds’ shouts* *cry* noo!!! Leen!!! Leeen!!!!

Meiko: “Folks, hereby I declare you the death of the defiled queen!”

Crowds: *the crowds roar in joy* “SHE DESERVES IT!”

 

thus, Len, who’s pretending to be Rin, is killed. The people & Meiko remained unnoticed of that fact Rin is now living with regrets on the small house near the ocean with Haku. The yellow country kingship has been destroyed and its people joined the green country.

 

-The End-

 

daily life.. i think ?

 

 

 

ah.. for the past 6 months, I’ve been into my Otaku side..

 

yes.. my Otaku side that has been forgotten for 1-2 years because I’m too focus on my fangirl side..

 

and here I am.. come back to my otaku side..

 

I made a RP account of Twitter.. ah! for everyone who don’t know what is RP..

 

RP stands for Role Play, and RPer is of course the one who are RPing.

 

RP is acting as someone/ some chara from anime, game or manga, we can also become idols in social media

 

RPer usually make their RL (Real Life) becomes a secret (so do I, so I won’t tell you what is my RP acc XP )

 

I’ve so much fun RPing, I get to meet many different person that love me even though they don’t know who I really am

 

and actually, It is fun doing RP, you can act as someone else 😀

 

Looveee it so much!! ❤

 

and.. other thing that makes me go back to my Otaku side is because..

 

I’ve been chosen as Otaku Fanbase’s admin (In twitter of course)

 

again, I won’t tell you what is the acc of that fanbase~ it’s a secret~ XP

 

since I am the admin of that fanbase, I want to become a good admin by knowing as much anime as I can~

 

😀

 

ahh it’s so much fun !!!

 

and… and… since i don’t want be  what i was before..

 

too focus on my 1 side (Fangirl) and forgetting my other side (otaku), I try to balance both of them and of course my RL too..

 

It’s hard though.. really hard actually…

 

I must keep updating on your idols’ activities, watching animes and do my RL activities too..

 

ughh.. that’s hard.. really..

 

especially to keep up with my study.. this university life is hard.. okay? it is hard.. too many assignments to do.. and of course tests and exams..

 

each test consist of 3-4 chapters.. imagine!! 3-4 chapters!! in high school usually it’s only contain 1-2 chapters, right?!

 

and each semester we have 4 subjects.. each subject has 1-3 assignments + 1-2 presentations!

 

and of course the final exam which contain of course all syllabus from the beginning of the semester till the end!

 

aaarrghh!!!

 

okay.. huuft.. hah.. huuftt.. haahhh~~

 

okay.. lets go back to the main topic, it’s hard to balance the 3 of them..

 

but it’s fun! really! because i love all of them~ 😀

 

I hope I can stay like this for the rest of my life.. lets pray for it okay? XD

 

ahh!! I just found this Johnny’s Jr Group which is called Sexy Zone!!! yeii~~

 

Love this group! really!!

 

wait! I’ll search for the picts of them

yosh!! I present you, SEXY ZONE!!!

My fav member is Nakajima Kento~~!! kakkoii deshou? I think he fits the sexy image the best~ ><

and !! my niban isssss Marius Yo!! I know, he is more to cute rather than Sexy.. but! I love him!! ><

here, I will give you more Sexy Zone Picts~~

 

 

KAKKOII DESHOU?!!!!!!

><

Yosh! this will be the end of my post today~ XD

ah! if you want to ask anything about RP or what ever i wrote above, feel free to comment~ XD

please come back to me.. (Hitachiin’s fan fiction)

Note: nothing of this story happens in the real story. Ouran High School Host Club’s Fan fiction. Kaoru Hitachiin’s point of view. and sorry for the bad english XP

I don’t know what to do anymore, he’s gone now and will never come back to this room, our room. I never realized that this room is so big and quite without him.

Hikaru you are a liar! You said you will be always by my side but why you leave me alone in this huge room?! I believe you! Please come back!! I need you! I don’t like being alone like this! You know that, right? So please come back!

I know no matter what I do, he wont come back, but.. I need him now! My chest suddenly becomes tight, while pressing on my chest, my tears that I’ve hold up until now flow down from my eyes unstoppable.

I hate this feeling! Nothing I can do to makes me feel better!! Aah!!! I throw my pillow at a vase on the corner of my room causing it to fall and shatter apart. Maids are coming to see what happened and they are shocked when they know a vase that is a rare item in this world has been falling apart on the floor. They know that I did it but they keep pretending that everything is okay and sweep out every pieces of the vase silently.

After those maids finished their work, they go out from my room leaving me alone….. again. I hate this!!! Hikaru! Come back! Please!!!!! I hate you! You liar! I punch Hikaru’s pillow while crying like a baby. After a few minutes, I stop punching that pillow and hug it, pretending that is Hikaru. Keep crying out all my feelings.

Today is Hikaru’s funeral, my parents attend it but I don’t. I cant bear to see my twin brother buried down into the ground, my parents seem to understand my feeling so they didn’t force me to attend the funeral. They know I am the closest person to Hikaru, they know I am the one who hurt the most from the fact that Hikaru is no longer in this world. We are always together, we sleep in the same room, we eat together, we are a perfect pair of twins! we can understand each other even without telling it first to each other! Hikaru! without you, I’m nothing! i can’t do anything without you! please.. please come back! I need you!

If I can wish for anything, I just want to come back to yesterday. I hope I wont fight with him just because a small thing. I hope I will understand him more. I hope I don’t interfere with his effort to get Haruhi. I hope.. I hope.. I hope I hope he will come back to me!!!!

Why the hell I cant keep my mouth shut! If .. If I didn’t say anything about him and Haruhi, we wont fight yesterday and.. And… he won’t go to to Mori senpai’s home and that accident wont happen.

I know how much Hikaru loves Haruhi, since she is the only person who can differs us apart. But it’s hurt to see how hard Hikaru to get Haruhi’s attention while Haruhi herself doesn’t care about Hikaru’s feeling and she just realized that she is in love with Milord. I know that is not my problem and I should not interfere with Hikaru’s problem but.. Seeing him hurt makes me hurt too, I just want to make him stop forcing himself. Didn’t he realize it too that Haruhi and Milord love each other?

Today’s news is full of the accident that involved my twin brother in it. A drunk truck driver has been arrested because the truck he drove smashed a Benz that had a son of multi billionaire director and famous designer in it. Yes, Hikaru is in that car. Our driver is still in the hospital but he is safe, why Hikaru must die?! Why him?! And why the hell that drunk driver only get arrested for the rest of his life?! I want him to get death penalty! I will pay whatever amount those police ask! I don’t care about money! Just make that damn old man die! He killed Hikaru!!!

“Shit!” I cry while burying my face into the pillow that I’ve hugged for the past2 hours. Why it is so unfair?! Why from all people, must Hikaru?! Why?! I ask again and again about this unfairness. Hikaru is still young! He is good looking, healthy, fun, enthusiastic and talented! And he must died because of that drunk ugly old man?! It’s unfair!!!!!!

I know there is no use for me being like this, Hikaru wont come back and that damn old man wont get death penalty, but I cant stop myself from thinking like this. Hikaru’s death is my fault too.. I regret it so much, why we must had a fight yesterday?! I’m sorry Hikaru.. I’m sorry!!!! I cry while hugging Hikaru’s pillow tighter. I’m sorry..

— 10 days had passed–

I stop eating since then, I can’t care more about how many KGs I’ve lost for the past 10 days. It’s hard for me to move, I don’t have any energy left. my parents are very worried about my health, they stop their work and keep bringing doctors from both national and international hospitals. All those doctors keep inject my body with all those liquids that I don’t even know, leaving many scars on my skin but I don’t care anymore.

I don’t know how do I look now, I cant bring myself to see my own reflection, because I keep seeing Hikaru in that reflection. I’ve broke all mirrors in my room, I hate to see Hikaru in my reflection it keeps reminding me on how happy we were when we have each other back then, how naughty we were, how perfect our life when we have Host club and how stupid of me to say something I shouldn’t and made us fight.

Other host club members are coming everyday to check on my condition and ask me to eat even though it’s only a bite but I keep refusing their foods. I know they have a good intention, but.. None of them can makes me feel like I’m with Hikaru.. I want Hikaru and not the others.

I know acting like this makes people around me sad and I’m sorry for making them sad but.. I cant help it, my mouth can receive any food, my stomach can digest any food and I cant even feel hungry. Maybe this is how I can meet with Hikaru up there.. if Hikaru is not here anymore that means I also don’t have any reason to be here anymore.. I want to be with him.. if this is the way I can meet Hikaru, I don’t mind and God, please take my soul faster, I bet Hikaru is as lonely as I am up there.

9^th June 1995 – 11^th Nov 2012

Kaoru Hitachiin lies here

Finally I’ve died, huh? At least I wont trouble my parents anymore..

“Kaoru” that voice!! I know this voice so much! I miss this voice so much! Trembling, I turn back to see the figure who owns that voice. Ah! It’s not a mistake! I miss him!! I run towards him crying happily and finally I reach him! Finally we can be together! From now on, we can be together forever! No one can separate us! Hikaru!